Balanced Approach

Once again, maybe because of our high standard of living (and greater relative disposable income that other nations) or the  pressure to "keep up with the Joneses" (or some other form of guilt) it seems that modern kids are forced into way too many weekly activities. Be it tennis, soccer, baseball, drama, street Jazz, music (singing and instruments), video games, school, play-dates, religious rituals and a dozen other endeavors, the children often do not have time to relax and properly reflect on their activities. The player may love tennis but his mind might not be on it 1 hour before the lesson or an hour following the lesson because, during those times, he is engaged in some other activities. The players race from place-to-place in some neurotic pursuit of excellence at all these activities. Often time, they become overwhelmed and burnt out with everything resulting in negative consequences such as drugs, resentfulness and other anti-social behavior. Parents often sign up the kids for all these activities in the pursuit of a balanced life. But is it?!

My advice would be to figure out EARLY whether the goal is to have little Johnny or Suzie become a "Jack of All Trades and Master of None" or an expert at one MAYBE two things. I'm all for being a well-rounded person, but if the goal is to be not just good but great, the parents and players must understand that there are only 24 hours in the day. With 8-9 hours of sleep, 8 hours of school, 4 hours of homework, a couple of hours of driving, eating and getting ready for school/athletics, the day doesn't hold enough hours to do EVERYTHING (and that's not even counting videogames or other relaxation activities).

Furthermore, the mind needs a certain time to "get in gear" in order to understand the concepts that the coach is seeking to impart. To ensure that he gets most out of the training, the player needs a good 30 minutes of mental preparation before every practice and, maybe, 15-20 minutes after the practice to reflect on the workout and absorb the information. When she is yanked around from activity to activity, the chances are that she will be thinking about school while she's doing tennis; thinking about tennis while she's doing music, thinking about music while she's doing homework; thinking about homework while ding drama; thinking about drama while playing soccer; and so on. It goes without saying that energy levels will also be diminished if appropriate breaks are not available. 

In addition, it is important to understand that the US players are not just competing against themselves but also players from other countries; players from places where the emphasis is put on one activity (besides school) rather than 5-6. So while the US player practices one hour of soccer, one hour of tennis, one hour of music, etc. per day, a foreign player will play 3 hours of tennis (and maybe some soccer "for fun" - as a warm-up or wind-down activity). In a year, the foreign player will have at least 600 extra hours of tennis. After a couple of years, the average foreign player's level will be "off the charts" when compared to US players. So if you want to the child to stand out at SOMETHING, focus on that one thing and engage in the other activities for pleasure only. Don't let such activities (or other societal pressures) interfere with your success at tennis (if tennis is indeed a priority and not just another notch in your activities belt). 

Give Your Son/Daughter a License to Tank

Some of the best tennis players have been coached by their parents. It's not for everyone. However, if you are going to coach your son/daughter beware of the phrase "Just go for your shots. Just go for it. Don't hold back." Only two things can happen from such vague advice, a very favorable outcome where its lights out tennis or a very quick 6-1, 6-1 loss. For any great player, this is far too much risk to assume to achieve a victory.

The moment you say, "Just go for it," you have given the player an easy way out if things don't go perfectly. No matter how well intentioned the advice may be, the player will not interpret it the same way you do. This is why it is very dangerous for parents who have never competed to give such poor advice. The advice shifts the responsibility from the player to the parent.

After another quick loss, the players snaps to his/her parent, "You told me to go for it!!!" Without the parent understanding what they have done, they have given the player an easy way out. Instead of having to face the music, the player can now shift all the blame to their parents (or coach for that matter).

The goal of every match is not to beat Serena or Roger, but to find a way to win on that specific day. Practice matches are the time to "Just go for it" and push outside your comfort zones. When it comes to tournament play, you play the percentages. You fight, scratch, claw, adjust, adapt, survive, compete and maybe if you are lucky, some of the "Just go for it" shows up at the right times.

The best remedy is to not give such advice unless you want to give them a license to tank.

Fragile and Sensitive Players

What do you do when someone hands you a box marked "FRAGILE?" On the top of the box in giant lettering is "Please Handle With Care." Naturally, you are very careful with the box, making sure you have your legs beneath it when you gently lift it off the ground. You take every necessary measure to not rattle the contents inside the box and give special attention to making sure no outside influences come in contact with the box. You treat the box as if it were a little baby that needs protection.

Unfortunately, most tennis players are very fragile. Most tennis players are sensitive (including some of the best juniors in the country, college players, minor-league professionals, and pros for that matter). Little ripples cause their boat to sway out of control, derailing their oars dipping into the water. I equate tennis matches to a water fight in the pool between two children. Johnny splashes chlorine into Ben's face. Ben splashes chlorine into Johnny's face. This goes on for a few minutes until one starts to cry. Tennis is the same idea, who can take the stinging of chlorine in their eyes longer? Whoever is tougher usually wins, plain and simple.

How does one become less sensitive? I promise you if someone could be less sensitive, they would do it right now. Nobody likes to be called sensitive and soft. Everyone wants to be tough, strong, and brave. The best way to wrap your brain around this sensitivity/fragility issue to look at it from a different angle. The angle I am proposing is from a scientific point of view. Science has proven we have two sides to our brain- one that is logical (does all the planning, making rational decisions and so forth) and the other that is emotional (it has strong urges to react to things- happy or negative). The bad news for tennis players is the emotional side is far more powerful than the logical side.

Since tennis is a contest that is antagonistic in nature where two players are calling each others lines, emotions come into play. A normal person will give into their emotions causing their tennis to seesaw up and down like a rollercoaster. Very few players can actively control their emotions and nobody is ever fixed. Sometimes a parent or coach will say, "I think Johnny has fixed his attitude." Nobody is ever cured, its an ongoing battle between the logical and emotional sides of the brain where the logical side must dominate the emotional side. Like an alcoholic who has been dry for six months, the sudden urge to relapse is always looming in the background. One can never be trustworthy of the emotional side as it has an irrational mind of its own. It takes a very abnormal individual to be able to manage their emotions under stressful situations, usually it is innate and part of their genetic makeup.

If you want to stop watching the same movie over and over again in your losses, be aware of what it means to be a human being. Think about when you practice, you practice under very little stress and the muscles are relaxed. But if your emotions are a rollercoaster, your fine motor skills will be slightly off, thus causing errors and mental mistakes.

The most successful players are not fragile, but anti-fragile. Now imagine a box marked "ANTI-FRAGILE" and on the side in giant letters it says, "Please Throw Against a Concrete Wall." You pick the box up and throw it against the wall with all your might. You pick it up again and shake it violently. You kick it, you jump on top of it, you try to break it. Nothing happens. Nothing. This is a very robust box.

One could argue a tennis player deemed "ANTI-FRAGILE" takes it one step further. Shocks to the system make the player stronger. The toughest and least senstiive players are able to get stronger and tougher in stressful situations.

Hard Work IS the Shortcut

“Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistance. Talent will not. There is nothing more common then unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not. Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world if full of educated derelicts. Persistence and Determination alone are Omnipotent" (Joe Strummer; former lead singer of The Clash). On a related note, I am a firm believer in the "10,000 hour rule" (see, for example, Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers). That is, it usually takes 10,000 hours of focused work to achieve success in any given field. 

Unfortunately, so many people - particularly parents - hang their hat on talent alone. Often times, I am told by parents that some other coach (sometimes "reputable" a lot of times less than so) regarded their child as "talented". They tend to use this unscientific evaluation as almost a form of justifying skipping out on hard work. Don't fall for this snake-oil! Tennis is not easy; IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT FUN AND ADDICTIVE. 

From my point of view - and realize that I may be wrong (although I am not the only one) - nothing is more OVERRATED or DECEPTIVE as talent. I say that talent is overrated because (a) talent will not get you to the ball; (b) talent will have no bearing on how hard your opponent will work or what he's capable of doing with the work; or (c) talent is insufficient to make you dig deep when you're running on fumes deep in the third set.

Talent, may however, make it somewhat easier for a player to pick up strokes or concepts. This leads to the second criticism in that talent is deceptive. A lot of "talented" players tend to get lazy; they may have early success due their ability to learn quicker than other kids and continue with the same training regimen (e.g. 1 hour a day) throughout their developing years (14 and over). The fact is that 1 hour a day on the court may be sufficient when you're 8, 9, 10 or even 11-12, but it's just not enough when you're moving on to the development stages (Cf. learning stages) of the game. 

As you get older, tennis becomes serious business; there are a lot of players throughout the world who intend to make a living at this game. As a result, they spend hours and hours on the court or in the gym, learning all parts of the game and tempering their bodies and minds for the tough battles. Talented little Johnny who spends an hour a day (maybe) of unfocused hitting will have NO chance against these animals.

 

So my advice is to either remove the word "talent" from the vocabulary or know that, in the great scheme of things, it's meaningless. Beware of snake oil salesmen who sell you the quick-fix (e.g. "she just needs to work on angles" or "he just needs to improve his serve") or gimmicks. Know that hard work - be it in tennis, medicine, law, accounting, computer programming, business or digging ditches - IS THE SHORTCUT; and you have to love every minute of it. 

Learn To Lose?

Coaches (and some parents) often advocate playing in higher age divisions in order for the player to become accustomed to more pace and a "higher level of tennis". Sometimes, they justify the poor results by claiming that it's good for the player to "learn how to lose." Nothing can be more detrimental for a developing tennis player than a losing record. What does this player have to look forward to in life?! Bust her butt in practice, work hard in the gym and then get thrown into an age divisions where they stand no (or little) chance of succeeding. Listening, winning is an addiction; winning begets winning. If winners win, then those who lose are....well you get the point. 

What is important for a player to learn is how to DEAL WITH LOSSES. This is not learning how to lose; it's learning to handle the results and utilize them to propel forward to a different level. Take for example a junior player who has just lost in the morning match of a tournament. This player will mope around for a bit, find consolation in the words of some friends, family coaches, eat a snack and then jump in the car for the ride home. What is his opponent doing? Well, most likely, the opponent will have to play another match. So where the losing player spends 1.5 hrs on the court, the winning player spends 3 hours on the court. Who benefits more from that Saturday? The winning, player, obviously. First, she learned how to pull off a tough match. She has figured out a strategy, devised various tactics to implement the strategy and executed those tactics at the right time. Second, she now has to step on the court (maybe 30 minutes, maybe 45 minutes later) and have to toughen out a second match. All this time, the player who lost the first round is driving home. If the goal of this player is to improve, she would be better served by (a) having a practice right after the match (wipe the slate clean; work on some things while they're fresh); (b) play a practice match against someone who may have also lost; AND/OR (c) have a fitness workout (to "punish" herself for losing). Follow any (or all) of these paths, and the defeated player will keep up with the rest of the pack. 

If you want to be in the top pack when it matters (U18s), you have to spend just as much on court (or doing fitness) as your better peers. You cannot allow them to get an extra 3-4 hrs of tennis/week. You have to be right there with them. They may have beaten you but they have not DEFEATED you (unless you let them). So, get knocked down seven times, get up eight times. If you lose, no big deal. Grab a basket and a back-court and work on the things that you feel need improving at that time. Show your opponents that you are tough to beat.